Thoughtful Thursday

Last weekend I started doing some creative writing again. It's something that I have always loved to do, but I never take the time to do it anymore. I wanted to share what I wrote and will hopefully make this a recurring thing on Thursdays. I wrote the following poem about things that have happened throughout my life. Don't judge me too harshly. It is a rough draft so I haven't edited it. These are my raw thoughts. 

Who am I?

Always smiling on the outside
a shoulder to lean on
someone to talk to
Dying Inside

Never taking the time
to love myself
always focused on others
Dying Inside

Screaming for help
needing attention
asking the wrong people
Dying Inside

Reliving the past
day after day
never moving on
Dying Inside

Now here I am 
wanting to change
not knowing how
Crying Inside

Where do you start
when all your life
has just been a lie?
Crying Inside

Wanting you to see me
for who I really am
but even I don't know
Crying Inside

Now here I stand
asking, searching
feeling so broken
Crying Inside

So what defines me
no one can tell me
 but who I am is not wrong
Healing Inside

I'm starting to realize
that person I was
made me who I am
Healing Inside

I can take all those years
and say a big thank you
thank you for making me...me
Healing Inside

I am who I am 
no one defines me
It's okay to be myself
Healing Inside

I don't have to be
that sad, lonely girl
I'm better than that
Smiling Inside

No longer surrounded
by all of those people
who said they cared, but never showed it
Smiling Inside

I've got all I need
in my own heart and soul
I don't need your attention
Smiling Inside

So who am I?
I don't need a definition
I just need to live
Smiling Inside

I don't care anymore
who you think I am
I'm happy, I'm growing
Living Inside

No more fake smiles
nor selfish intent
what you see is what you get
Living Inside

I've learned to love
despite my flaws
despite all my wrongs
Living Inside

I love who I am 
take it or leave it
your approval's not needed
Living Inside

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